


Sudden rage

by fanficwriter123



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, BFF and BF at the same time, Bromance, Comfort, Fights, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Haikyuu - Freeform, M/M, The feels, annoyed tanaka, love and love, m/m - Freeform, rare pairs, tanatora, upset
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-22 00:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9573131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficwriter123/pseuds/fanficwriter123
Summary: "hey babe, you alright...you seem" Tora said in a worried tone" I SEEM WHAT??'" Woah,what the hell""ughh... just leave me alone"





	1. Outburst

Yamamoto POV

I was cooking dinner, tofu to be exact when I heard the front door click open. I presumed it was just tanaka coming come from work, when the front door suddenly slammed close, my heart suddenly jumped out of my chest. I turned the stove off and quietly walked towards the living room hoping it wasn't a stranger, i sighed in relief when i saw Ryuu laid back on the coach the heels of his palms rubbing against his eye lids. I walked towards him with the realization that he slammed the door. With a worried face, I really hoped he was alright.

I walked in front of him and looked down.

"hey babe, you alright"

"yeah Im fine" I could feel the tension in his voice

"you sure?...you seem"

" I SEEM WHAT??' his change in tone made be jump back, My eyes wide at his sudden rage.

It felt someone just knocked the air out of me.

" Woah,what the hell"

"ughh... just leave me alone"

" Are you alright. like if you wanna talk about it"

he didn't answer he just held his head down and his fist clenched by his side.

"hey Ryuu..i said if you wanna talk about it?" 

"I DON'T KNOW TORA, DOES IT LOOK LIKE A WANNA TALK ABOUT IT"

" I was just asking..sheesh if you didn't wanna talk about it you could at least say it in a nice manner"

 He stood up form his seat looked me straight in the eyes, his pupils were dilated and he looked Mad. Really mad.

" DON'T YOU KNOW WHEN TO SHUT UP, I TOLD YOU TO FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE YAMAMOTO" he basically screamed at me,

I flinched at the sudden use of my first name, hurt suddenly filled my eyes and I took a step back, almost scared by his actions. This isn't like him to just shout at me for no reason. I don't get it? did I do something wrong?. I swallowed my own saliva trying to get my self to at least say something. Nothing came out I just opened and closed my mouth.

"DID YOU NOT HEAR ME..I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE" 

Every felling of sadness and worry that I had was replaced with pure rage and anger, he had no right to talk to me like that for no fucking reason, he cant just barge in to my..Our house and just scream at me for god knows what. I clenched my fist and looked at him, daring myself to blink, not to show any type of uncalled weakness.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU TODAY. HUH.." he looked startled by my extreme change in mood. Good.

"GODDAMMIT TORA I JUST TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE, AND THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH ME" his voice grew louder as of trying to compete with my own.

"WELL CLEARLY SOMETHING IS WRONG, BECAUSE YOU CAME IN AND STARTED SCREAMING AT ME FOR NO FUCKING REASON" I continued "AND I DON'T CARE HOW BAD OF A DAY YOU HAVE, DON'T COME LETTING IT OUT ON ME BECAUSE YOU FUCKING FEEL LIKE IT."

"WHO SAID IM LETTING IT OUT ON YOU, MAYBE YOUR THE FUCKING REASON"

I froze in my place. Me. i'm the reason why this is all happening. Am I really that bad.

"SERIOUSLY ME, WHAT THE HELL DID I EVER DO TO YOU"

"YOUR ACT LIKE AN ANNOYING BASTARD EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY, AND SOMETIMES ITS JUST SO ANNOYING BUT I DON'T SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE GODDAMMIT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BUT YOU JUST JOKE AROUND AND I DO IT TOO, BUT YOU TAKE IT WAY TO FAR. AND I END UP HAVING TO DRAG YOU AROUND LIKE A FUCKING BABY. AND I HAVE 8 HOURS OF FUCKING WORK EACH FUCKING DAY. WHILE YOU HAVE THOSE 2 HOURS SHIFTS AND I JUST CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE, YOU MAKE ME WANNA BANG MY HEAD IN THE WALL. I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IM GOING THROUGH CAUSE ITS ALL FUN AND GAMES FOR YOU AND THAT BRAIN. BUT GOSH..."

he didn't stop.I couldn't answer or say anything back. what is there to say

"NOTHING TO SAY HUH..YOU NEVER HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ALL YOU DO IS GO AROUND AND FUCK PEOPLE UP WITH YOUR USELESS ACTIONS, SOMETIMES I TRY MY BEST TO COVER UP FOR YOU BUT YOU END UP HURTING PEOPLE WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING AND ITS GETTING OUT OF HAND. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GIVE UP ON EVEN TRYING, YOU SHOULD REALLY START TAKING CARE OF YOUR OWN PROBLEMS, I HATE PICKING UP AFTER YOUR OWN TRASH"

I started shaking my head violently, I couldn't take anymore of this. I knew it was true but I didn't wanna hear it. I was trying to say ' _stop_ ' but I didn't, I felt myself just tearing apart. he was right, he had all the excuses in the world to be mad at me. To hate me. My eyes were already welled up with tears and I was completely speechless. there is nothing to say. he said it all. I backed up one step. two. three. until I was running to the front door I snatched my coat from the hanger and opened the door and slammed it behind me.

I could hear the ruffled sounds of 'Tora stop' and don't go'... but those were in my head, telling me that maybe I had a chance to go back and replace the shit that I just did. I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest as I kept running. My eyesight was blurry from the hot tears that were forming in my eyes and slowly running down and burning cheeks, lips were quivering not from the cold, but from the emotions that wanted to leave, but they couldn't. I took no notice of any physical action. I just kept moving my feet as fast as I can..trying to get away from...from...from home to god knows where.

I stopped. chest heaving with shallow and fast breaths. Panting I took my phone from my pocket. I had 2 messages and 3 missed calls from Ryuu, I ignored them not daring to give them a glance. I searched for the one contact I needed most.

 

**10:07 PM**

**To: Kenma kozume**

hey, can I crash at yours?

**10:08**

**from: Kenma Kozume**

Umm. yeah sure

 

I exhaled a breath I never new I was holding in and started walking towards my best friends house. Step by step trying to ignore the incoming calls from my boyfriend, at least thats what I thought were were. I hoped it stayed that way. It killed me how he just blew up on me. I get it, I do suck in a lot of things, but never in my life did I know thats how he thought of me. When we had good days we would laugh and play video games, maybe bake once in a while. Not only was Ryuu my boyfriend but he was my best friend, and now that I think of it I kind of lost both. He obviously hates me from the way he spat my name with his tense muscles that were on his face and clenched fists, he looked like he was about to just punch me in the face.  

IM SUCH AN IDIOT, I slapped both my hands on my cheeks harshly, and stood frozen in place, the tears were running down my face faster. 

_Its all your fault_

_Its all your fault_

_Nothing gonna change that_

No. No. No. the voices again...not now I cant deal with this, but for the first time in my life I believed them I believed those goddam voices. I forced myself not to crumble down, no not yet.

_Its all your fault_

_You don't deserve him._

I know I dont deserve him, I know its all my fault...please stop repeating it, _STOP, STOP please STOP_

"stop" i said between my sniffles, I knew no one could hear me, but right now I needed to hear my self 

I looked up and realized that I reached kenmas house. I raised my hand to knock on the door but held back... I finally forced my self to knock on the door.

It opened up to Kenma who was staring at his phone tapping furiously on the screen.

"Hey Tora, make yoursel---" he looked up at me and dropped the phone down, I couldn't blame him I probably looked like a complete piece of trash right now. Maybe he just didn't want me here 

"its fine I can leave if you--" he cut me off immediately by pulling me to a hug and suddenly my emotions started pouring out and I start sobbing on his shoulder, i finally sank down to my knees and he knelt down with me his had going up and down my back whispering comforting words, of 'its okay' and 'your gonna be alright'. I was holding on to his shirt so tightly my knuckles turned white. 

Kenma pulled me up and took me to his room and laid me out on his bed, he sat on the edge just petting my shoulder while looking at me, eyes full of worry.

"get some rest, we can talk about it tomorrow"

I nodded and whispered a whimpered 'thank you' before I was taken away by a deep slumber.

 


	2. A bit of Kenma is all you need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go guys, chapter 2, I know some of you guys have been waiting for a new update, here it is, hope you like it.

 

** Tora's P.O.V **

My eyes slowly fluttered open, my eyesight was still blurry I could feel a slight sting in my eyes. I moved my head trying to make sense of where I was.

 

_ Oh right Kenma's house _

 

Slowly my eyes focused on its surrounding. I jolted up into a sitting position when I realized why I was here. My head started throbbing, I could feel my heart pulse against my temples. I held both my hands on my head and slowly laid back down on the bed trying to relieve some of the pain. This was probably way worse than a hangover. I was too focused on my hellhole headache that I didn't see Kenma come in.

 

" hey how are you feeling"

 

I couldn't bring myself to speak so early in the morning, my whole body aching till no end. So I just shook my head hoping he gets the message that I'm not feeling so well.

 

He nodded his head as if reading my mind and put his hand on the small of my back and neck slowly pulling me into a sitting position. He handed me an aspirin with a glass of water. I took it quickly and gulped the water right after, a wave of freshness ran through my body as I drank the cool water. Slowly feeling the aspirin kick in I was capable of holding myself in a sitting position.

 

Kenma got up from his kneeling position and walked over to his cabinet and grabbed a pair of clothes before he came back in front of me.

 

"how about you go get yourself cleaned up,I got a hot bath ready for you"

 

I nodded and got up before he handed me the clothes and slowly guided me towards his bathroom. I turned around to face him and gave a small smile before I entered the bathroom and locked it behind me.

 

I undressed myself. Before slowly getting into the bath. I sighed as I sank into the water feeling my stress slowly exit my body. I hummed with relive at the tingling warmth that spread through my whole body. Finally I put my face in the water and for 20 seconds I was able to forget everything as I found myself surrounded by nothing. Feeling the need of oxygen I took my head out of the water and took a breath of air. I started cleaning myself and washing my hair before I got out and put on the clothes Kenma handed to me, luckily it was my size since Kenma always wears his clothes one size larger. I grabbed a towel and started drying my hair.

I got out of the bathroom towel still hanging on my shoulder as I made my way into the living room. I fell onto the couch when Kenma came and handed me a cup of coffee with a cheese sandwich. Feeling like I haven't eaten in ages I devoured the food and finished my cup of coffee. Kenma came and slumped beside me on the couch and took the remote and started switching through the channels. Non of us said a word but it was a comfortable silence one where you could clear your mind. We settled on a National Geographic lion documentary, our eyes were focused on the screen but our minds were elsewhere. The sound of a ringing phone snapped me out of my thoughts, realizing it was my phone i grabbed it. I could feel Kenma eyes burning my back I looked at him than at the caller ID,

 

'Ryuu<3'

 

I tensed at the name and threw my phone back where it came I ignored the call but still hearing the annoying ringing. It stopped. Than it started agiain this time I ended the call. It rang again. I ended it.

 

Waiting for another call. Nothing. I sighed in relief and my shoulders fell. Kenma looked at me.

 

"Who was it"

"Oh. It was no one"

Kenma just hummed and got back to watching the documentary. This is what I loved about Kenma he never pushed me to talk and was patient knowing that I would tell him when I was ready. after 20 minutes of the documentary, witch in my perspective was very interesting. I got up and opened the window trying to get some fresh air in the apartment, then sat back down on the couch. silence spread over us  until I decided to speak.

 

"he told me to leave" I started in a small voice

Kenma head turned around to look at me, he held a neutral face but stayed silent as if telling me to continue.

 

" he told me I was being an annoying bastard who couldn't take care of their own problems, he said that I was a baby that needed to be draged around constantly, he told me I was fucking up peoples lives with my useless actions, he said that he hates picking up after my trash, he called me..me..me..." tears were welling up in my eyes and I choked back a sob. I buried my hand in my eyes and I felt my chest heaving.

"I mean I was cooking dinner and..and he slammed the front door and I went to check up on him see if he was doing alright you know..." I started to slightly sob "and he just blew up on..on ..on me called me a bastard and shit like that, he was listing my mistakes like he's been memorizing it for days..and..and..I don't know what to do Kenma" this time i didnt hold it back i just let the tears flows and burn my cheeks as i felt the hot tears drop and land on my leg. 

I could feel Kenma tense slightly but he didn't say anything he just looked at me, and shifted towards me before wrapping his arms around me and rubbing small circles in my back allowing me to muffle my sobs on his shoulder. When I finally calmed down I was able to look at him.

 

"do you want to talk to him" Kenma said this with a worried look in his face

I shook my head, not bearing the idea of talking to him right now

He nodded his head, understanding my side of the story.

"Do you wanna stay at my place until you can talk to him"

"I really don't want to be a burden"

"your not, you don't have to worry about that"

" oh umm o-ok I'll go to my apartment to get some clothes so I can settle at yours for a few days"

He nodded "do you want me to drive you there"

"Yeah that would be nice"

"When do you want us to leave"

I checked the time, 11:37Tanaka should be at work he probably wont come back till at least 4:00 so I think it would be safe to go now.

"I think we should go now since he wont come back till later in the after noon"

 

Kenma got up. And that was a clear sign to get ready to go. I got up as well grabbing a tissue on the way to wipe the tears that were hanging from cheeks. I went to check myself i the mirror. I looked like shit, my eyes were red and puffy, there were bags under my eyes and I looked pale. I shrugged and slipped on my shoes and grabbed the key to my apartment before shoving it in my pocket beside my phone. Kenma soon came with his car keys and wallet.

 

" how about we go to the mall after and just have a good time. You know clear your head"

 

I smiled at him and nodded my head. We closed the lights and left kenmas apartment making sure to close the front door behind us..we made our way to his car and I sat down on the passenger seat.

The ride to my apartment was quite only the low sound of the radio to fill the silence.

Kenma parked his car and looked at me, " I'll be waiting here you get you stuff and come back"

I nodded my head and got out of the car. When I finally reached the front door of my apartments, i started fumbling with my keys finally finding the right one before shoving it in the key slot, I unlocked the door and took a deep breath before pushing the door open. The lights were off, that meant Ryuu wasn't home, I sighed in releif before heading towards my room. The smell of air refreshing mixed with clean sheets invaded my nostrils...It smelled like home a small smile made its way to my face. I snapped out of my thoughts and began taking some clothes out of my chest drawer and throwing them into a carry around travel bag that I found under the bed. I snatched my stuff from the bathroom and began to zip my bag only to hear the front door open. My heart stopped.

 

_What_ _the hell, did Kenma come up to check on me_

_No, i'm sure he is still in the car downstairs_

Then I heard the mumbling of a familliar voice.

Ryuu..No he cant be here,

_it's too early._

_ Where do I go _

_ Shit. Shit. Shit _

_ He can't find me here _

_ No.No _

_ Why do bad things happen to do people. _

 

I checked the time it was 12:10, what the hell was is he doing at home so early. I took a few deep breaths before I finished zipping my bag. I took the handle in my hand before slowly exiting the room.

 

Ryuu was on the couch. In his hands was the TV remote, he eyes strained on the screen while flipping through the channels he finally settled on a drama. A DRAMA. He doesn't watch drama, I watch drama. What the hell. I shook that thought out of my mind and was trying to plan a way to get out without him seeing but that was clearly impossible, no matter where I tried to go he would see me I sucked in a breath and took my first step only for the zipper of the bag to run open and the stuff stared to fall

_Smooth Tora, so smooth....FAN FUCKING TASTIC_

I looked up to see that Ryuu was looking straight at me. great, just dandy. I looked back and we were just staring at each other. I could feel the tension in the air and it was slowley getting to me. I quicly started picking my stuff from the floor and puting it back in my bag I started cursing at the zipper for wasting my time and deciding to open up in the worst time ever known to man kind.

"Tora?" He said to me in a confused way, gosh I missed that voice, that low raspy voice that always made me melt no matter where I was or what was happening. 

" I-I was j-just leaving" curse me and my stuttering voice.

 I took the bag and hung it over my shoulder I started making my way to the door eyes on the floor, huh. I never knew that the tiles had some small  grey stripes on them.

 

A hand gripped my wrist it was warm and it ticked my skin. I sucked in a breath knowing it was Ryuu, _how did he get to me so fast_  I flinched and took my hand back. I was now facing the door my back to Ryuu and I didn't want to face him. Not now.

 

" T-Tora where are you going" I could hear the hurt in his words but I ignored them

"None of your business" I hissed, I didn't mean for it to come out harsh, I was just--not in the mood to deal with him.

"Yes it is. You're my boyfriend"

I scoffed at that, not giving him an answer I started walking towards the door when Ryuu grabbed my wrist again.

"Turn around" Ryuu was almost whispering

I tried to take a take my hand away from his hold but his grip just tightened.

"Let me go. Tanaka" I said

"Turn around" it was way to silent even for Ryuu, it almost scared me.

I tried loosening his grip but nothing worked, Damn him and his strength

"Tanaka, I said let go"

" I'm not leeting go, just turn around"

I gave up this stupid argument, I swallowed my saliva and turned around. And shit did Tanaka look so worn out, he had bags under his eyes he was turning a sickining shade of yellow. I saw sorry flash across his eyes. His hand suddenly made its way to my cheeks and used his thumb to wipe away the dried tears that were still stained from this morning. I flinched at the sudden contact, thankfully the grip on my wrist loosened.

it was just way too much i really missed his touch, and his comforting eyes and I knew if I stayed any longer I probably might kiss him right there and then, but I threw the thought back... _now is not the time to be thinking such thoughts._

"I'm leaving" I said before I made my way to the door.

" Tora. Stop" I ignored and kept walking

"Tora.wait" I still ignored

"Taketora. Please wait" I stopped. And curse me for stopping I was one step away from the door.

I turned around to face him.

"What?"

"Tora please don't leave, I just really want to apologize"

I started laughing, that quiet almost evil laugh that was about to kill someone.

Ryuu looked confused.

I scoffed

"That's not what u said yesterday"

"I know what I said. And I'm sorry"

I gritted my teeth. Seriously sorry, did he actually think that would fix anything.

"what do you want me to say" I continued in a girly voice " oh I forgive you let's continue on with our lives, and buy a cute cottage in the beautiful forest and raise kids and die together"

Tanaka looked shocked at my response and frowned.

" I'm sorry" he said in a whisper, from his voice I knew it was sincere and apologetic, but i coudn't let that get to me.

and if I wasn't so pissed at him and myself than I would have went and hugged him and told him it wasn't his fault that it was mine, it really was my fault, for being such a bad boyfriend, and yet look at me getting angry at him and not accepting his apology..its not that I didn't want to accept it I really did, but that would mean I also accepted the aplogy I held for myself, and I coudn't forgive myself at least not now.

I looked at him with hurt and emptiness in my eyes, and he knew well what I was feeling.

" I'm leaving" I said it one last time,

I finally left my apartment and closed the door behind me. I released the breath I never knew I was holding and wiped the tears that were collected on the inner part of my eye before I took off to Kenma car.

I opened up the truck of kenmas car and threw my bag inside before getting into the passenger seat. I gave Kenma a wide grin. Trying to forget any emotions that were welled up inside of me. trying to forget the look on Tanaka's face as I left, trying to silence the voices that were starting to fill up my head.

" lets go have some fun" 

"Yeah. Let's go" he gave a smile

Thoughts of Tanaka came to mind once again, but I shooed them away before they took over me and I opened the window smelling the air outside,

I hope today goes well... I think I wouldn't mind feeling a bit joy in my heart while the day lasted. And not think about the tomorrow just yet.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys tell me what POV you want here next. 
> 
> 1.Tanaka  
> 2.Taketora  
> 3\. Kenma
> 
> I really hoped it was a good chapter, i'm not a really go writer, but I tried  
> comments make me happy. kudos make me happy and you smile makes me happy.  
> have a great day guys.


	3. Expect the unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 3 GUYS FINALLY 
> 
> I would like to thank @letkeithsayfuck for helping me edit this
> 
> I few of you have been waiting for this, so here you go!!!
> 
> feel free to drop comments and ask me anything on tumblr (link to my tumblr below)

Fumbling with my keys I finally opened the front door of my apartment. 

 

I called out "I'm home" but the sudden realization hit me with the lack of response, no one was there.

 

The apartment felt so empty, so deserted.

 

I couldn't really consider this home anymore. The smell of home cooked lunch was missing. The usual 'welcome home' with a few sweet kisses was not there. There weren’t any manga sprawled on the wooden floor.  

 

There was no Yamamoto. 

 

I realized that I couldn't breath, I looked around and started taking a few deep breaths.

 

I have to get myself together. I hung my coat on the hanger by the door and made my way to the kitchen debating if I should eat. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t. I hadn't eaten since Yamamoto, the thought just grossed me out. I left the kitchen and walked into our room  _  'Our,' _ huh. It didn't feel that way anymore. I fell on the bed and turned on my stomach pushing my face into the pillow and let out a loud frustrated groan. 

 

I hated this. I hated that he had such an effect on me. Hated that he made me feel like this even after two days. Hated that he left so easily. Hated myself. For not being a good boyfriend. For not being a good friend. For not understanding his problems. For being a complete asshole. I screamed, my face still pushed in the pillow. Waiting for the world to just swallow me whole. 

 

If I hadn't - arg - just snapped at him than he would be here peppering me with those amazing kisses that made my heart melt. What if he didn't want to come back, what if-what if he wanted to break up. 

 

Panic started to well up in my chest. I shot into a sitting position.

 

I fucked up 

 

I fucked up real fucking bad 

 

I got up and changed into some sweatpants and a plain white shirt. Before I grabbed my phone to call my best friend. I started Walking front and back while biting my nails as I waited for an answer.

 

“RRRYYYYUUUU!”

 

I let out a nervous laugh, but still managed to smile, before I replied, “Hey Noya.”

 

There was a swift science, where I could only hear his breath for the other side of the phone line. He probably knew something was up by the way I sounded.

 

“Are you okay?" He had a worried tone.

 

"Can you come over I just need to talk to you. It’s-it’s pretty urgent."

 

"Give me fifteen.”

 

After he ended the call I put my phone down and let out a huff. I wonder what Taketora is doing right now. Who is he with? Maybe Kuroo or Kenma, since they seem to be his closest friends. 

 

I let myself fall onto the mattress once more just thinking about how stupid I am for letting the most amazing man in my life slip away from me so easily. I felt myself fall into a small slumber until heard a knocking sound. I groaned and got up making my way to the front door.

 

Opening the door I could see a panting Noya in front of me.

 

"Hey,” Huff. “Had to use” Huff. “The stairs,” Huff. “Elevator wasn't working.”   
  


I let out a small chuckle before I let him in, Noya practically ran to the kitchen to grab himself a glass of water, while I sat down on the couch. I closed my eyes a bit before I felt the couch sink to my left. Noya sat there staring at me , I lifting an eyebrow up at him as if to ask why he was looking at me.

 

"Well are you gonna tell me what's wrong or are we just gonna make me sit here and look at your boring ass ceiling?"

If I told Noya would he take Yamamoto’s side? Would he leave saying how much of a bad boyfriend I was, would he be disgusted?

 

"Actually I change my mind, how about we watch a movie?" 

 

I got up to reach for a remote but a hand pushed me back down on the couch.

 

"Nuh uh uh, you aren't going anywhere hotshot, you're gonna sit your ass back down and tell me exactly what's going on."

 

"There's nothing wrong, I just called you so that we could chill for a bit."

 

Noya gave me the 'don't fuck with me' look before saying, "I've been your friend since diapers Ryuu. Diapers. Do you expect me to go along with your lie? I can confirm you are a very bad liar."

 

I put my hand in my chest with a fake pained expression. "I am an amazing liar by the way, I got away with not doing laundry once."

 

Noya started laughing.

 

"Okay,okay whatever you say… But staying on topic, tell me what's wrong. You know that whatever you say won’t affect our friendship at all."

 

He's right nothing's gonna change, I let out I sigh before I made myself more comfortable on the couch and faced him. Noya had a serious expression on his face. Probably meaning that I should just start talking.

 

With that I told him the whole story for when I came back from work 2 days ago to when he came back to the apartment to grab his stuff and left, I didn't leave out a thing.

 

When I was done talking, Noya just looked at me. I started to panic. 'Oh no I knew I should never have told him.'

 

"Okay look. I'm not siding with your boyfriend or anything but man you really fucked up."

 

"You think I don't know that already?"

 

"Look I think you should give him some space. l, knowing Tora, think he'll come back when he's ready to talk."

 

"I can't do that Noya, it's already been two days and I'm barely getting through, what if he doesn't come back for another week? Or month? Or year? Maybe he never comes back."

 

"Woah, woah, woah! Hold it right there. You are over exaggerating, and if you think that he might not come back for another week than I say go to him and talk things out, try calling him and maybe he might agree."

 

I took a few deep breaths "Yeah.yeah. You're right. Just talk it out with him."

 

"Yeah, of course I'm right! Now take a few deep breaths and call him, okay? Everything's gonna be fine." Noya handed me my phone from the coffee table.

 

I took my phone and started scrolling through the contacts. When I found him I looked at Noya and gave him the look that said I was going for it. I swallowed the saliva that was pooling up in my mouth and pressed the call button. 

 

It rang a few times before it disconnected. "He's not answering."

 

Noya nodded as if he was expecting that before he told me to try again.

 

It disconnected.

 

“Again.” 

 

Nothing, barely a ring.

 

"There's no point Noya, he not answering."

 

"Try sending him a text."

 

I sent Tora a text that asked if we could meet up and talk about it.

 

"Okay, let's say we do meet up. How am I supposed to explain why I got mad at him all of a sudden? There’s nothing that-"

 

"Tell him the truth Ryuu."

 

"Yeah, I guess I'll tell him the truth.. Thanks a lot Noya, you just know the answer for everything."

 

Noya punched him playfully "Don't go soft on me, Ryuu, but don’t worry about it bro, that’s why I’m here."

 

I laughed before punching him on the shoulder. “So what do you wanna do for the rest of the day?”

 

“DUDE, did you hear, there this new restaurant open in the mall and they have the largest bucket of chicken wingers ever.”

 

“How about we set a record?”

 

Noya smiled at me. He knew exactly that I was thinking and before I knew it we had grabbed our stuff and were making our way to the car.

 

This was a really good idea to get my mind of Tora, even for just for a bit.

 

Finally, after reaching the mall in nothing but sweatpants and a shirt we strolled through the hallways. Often stopping at shops to take a few looks before we made out way out. A game shop caught our eye, Noya and I ran straight to it.

 

After arguing for about 20 minutes on what game was better and what we should buy, we realized that we were broke. Shamefully we made our way toward the exit of the shop, still discussing what game would be better.

 

Out of what seemed like nowhere, I heard my stomach mimic the sounds of a dying whale. I tapped my hand on my stomach and rubbed, I told Noya that we should start heading towards that restaurant he was talking about. 

 

We were placed at a table for two while Noya and I discussed stupid stories that happened. We shared the most unpleasant thoughts possible as well as the most disturbing memories, but that’s what best friends do. 

 

After ordering the bucket of spicy chicken wings, Noya and I sat in silence. Noya on his phone while I was lost in my own thoughts. Trapped with thoughts of Taketora. I started to slowly panic again but a hand was over mine almost instantly. I looked at Noya and gave him a reassuring smile before he let go.

 

‘Wow, Noya knows me more than I know of myself,’ I cleared my head once again and allowed myself to push any distracting thoughts away.

 

My stomach growled loudly at the wafting smell of our ordered food as it made its way to our table. Licking my lips, I looked at Noya, who was already staring at the food like a predator. In no less than a second were were consuming our food like animals, I could catch a few people from the corner of my eye staring at us like we were crazy (I couldn't blame them really).

 

With full stomachs, we left the table to wash our hands in the bathroom. We left to wander the mall with no real certainty about where to go. 

 

“Soo ,where do we go next?” I asked Noya, as I looked around the mall to find anything interesting.

 

“OH, there's an arcade a few shops from here!”

 

My eyes lit up at the word ‘arcade’. I haven't been to one of those since forever. Memories flooded my mind when I thought of how Noya and I used to go to the arcade every weekend when we were in middle school.

 

We walked and finally paused by the entrance of the arcade. I took a few seconds to just look at the place,

 

“Brings back those old memo’s huh? ”

 

I let out a nervous laugh responding with a simple affirmative before making my way inside.

 

After getting some change from the desk, we immersed ourselves in trying to decide what game to play. We settled on playing some shooting game which resulted in lots of shoving so we could try to aim the gun the right way, and then a few classic old games.

 

Noya and I were laughing about some stupid thing that happened in the game, too engulfed in the situation to pay attention to where I was going so I bumped into what seemed to be a kid. Until I looked down and was struck by the familiar cat eyes that could only belong to Kenma. 

 

Wait Kenma? What was he doing here? Actually that’s a stupid question to ask myself. We’re in an arcade, so of course it shouldn't be all that surprising that he’s here.

 

“Kenma?”

 

He didn’t reply he just stared at me in what seemed to be disgust and… And hate? Why the hell was he looking at me like that? Did I hurt him when we bumped?

 

“Umm… Kenma?” I repeated myself.

 

He just shook his head and left. I looked at Noya as if trying to understand what just happened but he had an equally confused look plastered on his face too.. 

 

“I think maybe we should go after him. He obviously knows what happened with Taketora,” I said trying to clear the leftover tension in the air. If only somewhat.

 

“Yeah I was thinking the same thing. I’m close with their libero Yaku, so I’ve spoken to him a couple of times.” Noya acknowledged in a huff.

 

Following the path that Kenma took, we finally found him on his phone leaning against the wall. He didn't seem to acknowledge our presence until we tapped on his shoulder. 

 

He looked up and after taking in our existence with a hint of annoyance in his face he started speaking “What do you guy’s wa--”

 

“KENMA, KENMA, KENMA, THERE'S THIS NEW GA--”

 

I knew that voice. How could I forget that voice? The voice I wanted to wake up to every morning. The voice that comforted me when I was hurting, the voice that ruled my world. Suddenly everything fell silent, I knew who was behind me right at this moment, and by the way he paused he knew who I was too.

 

I froze in my spot. I had to force myself to slow turn around to face him, to catch his gaze. I felt my whole world stop. A million different emotions welled up in my chest. I couldn't say anything, I wasn't ready to face him, not now. I gulped as if it would relieve some of the pressure that was beginning to suffocate me. 

 

I looked at him as if I haven't seen him in forever, I drank in all his features from his warm eyes to his rosy cheeks. From his tanned skin to his red tinted lips. It was so hard for me to not just walk up to him and kiss him. To pour all my emotions out, all of my regret, pain, and hatred towards myself into this one kiss. But I couldn't move, I was still frozen in shock.

 

“Well this isn't how I hoped you’d meet, but then again not everything goes according to plan.”

  
At least Kenma broke the horrible, crushing silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry guys chapter 4 coming soon
> 
> And I would also love to again thank @letkeithsayfuck for helping and supporting this fanfic.  
> Thank you, Thank you, Thank you 
> 
> Make sure to go follow her tumblr:
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> http://letkeithsayfuck.tumblr.com/
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	4. The truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY guys the next chapter..so sorry it took so long..I was really busy, anyway guys i think that the last chapter is the next one   
> I hope you like :)
> 
> fell free to comment on the story..or about me.
> 
> thank you and love you guys :)

I gulped and looked down while playing with my fingers, I could feel my pulse radiating through my body.

 

From the corner of my eyes I could see Tora still staring at me. What was he thinking of me? Was I disgusting and horrible in his eyes, did he view me as a piece of trash? The answer to both of those was probably yes.

 

I can feel thick, hot air surrounding us. The shooting sounds for the arcade games and the chatter faded out and into the background as if we were in the spotlight, the only two there.

 

I closed my eyes taking in a deep breath, filling my lungs with air then exhaling to calm my mind. I opened my mouth to start talking but nothing came out, only a shaking breath. There was nothing to say to excuse myself. What could I say? I loosened up and stared back into his amazing eyes, that I never could seem to get bored of.

 

"T-tora..." I managed to whisper but still loud enough to be heard. I saw him flinch slightly. And I  swallowed. There was no reaction on his face, nothing that could portray any type of emotion, no telling expression.

 

That's when I noticed that he took a step back. I could finally see water welling up in his eyes before he sprinted out of the arcade. Drowning in the realization of what just happened, I got my feet working and ran after him. 

 

What was I doing..? I was running after him, he didn't want me and I knew that, yet I still ran after him… God I missed him so much.

 

I kept running until we ended up in the underground parking lot. I saw him turn around to look at me, we were merely two meters away from each other but I could still feel the force pulling me towards him. 

 

"T-T-Tora I-I'm..uhhh."

 

"Tanaka please not now," It was barely a whisper.

 

I was too focused on how much I missed his voice, it was soft and sweet, and a bit raspy from crying. I closed my eyes, resisting the urge to sigh and hum to the sound of his voice. His words sadness began to fill my chest.

 

"Tora p-please I-I," I begged, I can't last another day without him, it was too much.

 

"Tanaka I'm sorry, but-but I can't.. I j-just...can't," I saw him take a small step back and tears were definitely building up in my eyes. I can't do this. Not again.

 

"No-No-No Tora please I just need to ex-explain.. And.. And I'm. I'm. I'm just so fucking sorry," I breathed out. I couldn't look at him. I was scared of his expression. He still didn't say anything, I could hear the ticking coming from my watch as it echoed through the parking lot. I started playing with my fingers again while biting my lip.

 

"Ryuu.. I'm sorry but I really can't, and-"

 

"Please… Please can we go back to the apartment and I'll explain... I promise, and then you can leave if you still don't don't wanna be near me, just please,” I cut him off.

 

I heard him let out a quiet exhale while staring at the bare grey cement floor. He was thinking. I've never been so terrified in my life. A didn't realize the taste of blood in my mouth until I found that I was biting my lip too hard. I let it go and waited for a response for what seemed to be years before I heard a soft sigh. 

 

“Uhh.. Yeah sure.. I mean okay."

 

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and closed my eyes I could feel my shoulders fall in relief. 

 

"Uh. Okay okay, I'll call Noya and tell him."

 

He nodded and took his phone out of his pocket, taking it as a signal to call Kenma.

 

I took out my phone and dialed up Noya.

 

"Hey dude, yeah, I'll be in the apartment... Yeah... Okay… Thanks, ‘kay bye bro." Putting my phone back, I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my jumper and walked towards him. I gulped but continued walking towards my car. I could hear his footsteps behind me, which meant he was following me.

 

I started the car and we made our way towards the highway, the silence was aggravating so I turned on some tunes. I realized that Tora favorite song was on 'Mad World' I could hear his soft hums and I let out a quiet sigh to the sound of his humming.

 

Tora is an amazing singer, he might not seem like it with his dyed hair cut into a short Mohawk and his ear piercings, but he has such a sweet voice. I didn't realizing I was staring until he looked at me. I turned around quickly focusing on the road, hoping to hide the evident blush that rose to the tips of my ears. I shouldn't risk our lives because his beauty is so distracting. 

 

Finally, after pulling into a parking spot outside of the apartment, we made our way up in silence. I put my hands in my pocket and dug for my keys. Shit, I forgot to take it from Noya.

 

"Fuck"

 

Tora looked at me with confusion with a raised eyebrow.

 

"I think I forgot my key with Noya"

 

He looked at me as if he was expecting this and pulled out the spare apartment keys from his pocket.

 

"I usually keep them with me just in case."

 

I nodded while he opened up the door. I took in the smell of place before walking in.

 

Tora already made himself comfortable on the couch. I closed the door behind me and took off my shoes and coat.

 

"Do you want anything to drink?"

 

"Water is fine."

 

I nodded again and made my way to the kitchen to get him and myself a glass of water.

 

I took a deep breath. I can do this. I can do this. Just breathe. The truth. The truth.

 

I exhaled and started walking towards the living room I could see the back of Tora's head and for a moment it seemed as though everything was fine.

 

I sat beside him on the couch and handed him the water, I could hear a faint 'thank you' before he started sipping on his water.

 

"You've got fifteen minutes."

 

I let out a breath and closed my eyes. I reminded myself that I could do this. And I let my mouth take control.

 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for blowing up like that. I'm sorry for calling you everything you’re not. I'm sorry for acting like such an asshole. I'm sorry for letting it out all on you. I'm sorry if I made you feel like shit. I'm sorry if I acted like a douche. I'm sorry for everything and I regret it so much you don't understand. If I could take it back, I would take every second of it." Tears were building up in my eyes but not enough to make me sob.

 

"Tanaka, you didn't do anything wrong."

 

I snapped my head up to look at him. He looked so regretful. I was so confused, what did he mean that I didn't do anything I obviously yelled at him.

 

"What-what are you talking about?"

 

"What you said was true, I really do suck and as you put it I kinda am an annoying bastard."

 

"What are you saying? Are you actually serious? Do you really think that low of yourself, Yamamoto?"

 

"I mean yeah, everything you said was true and I'm not going against it, if anything I'm with it, I mean I am technically a piece of trash."

 

"Tora stop"

 

"I am. Ryuu, look at me. Where does such a human come from? I look like shit, I act like shit if anything I am shit."

 

Is he actually being serious, did I put those thoughts in his head? How much worse can I get?

 

"Tora please just stop.. I don't know where the hell this is coming from... You shouldn't think of yourself that way. You are beautiful and amazing… But I yelled at you, I took out my rage and frustration on you.. It didn't mean anything, I didn't mean anything I said."

 

"What rage, what frustration?"

 

Here it goes Tanaka.. The truth just spill it out. 

 

"I got a call the morning I blew up on you… Before work.. And well my-my sister got into a car crash and she's in a temporary coma, they know she is gonna wake up soon.. But well they needed someone to pay hospital bills.. And I already work and I have college and all... So you know so I'm cramped between studying and working."

 

By now Tora was completely facing me, I tried reading his face but I was getting nothing.

 

"My parents," I tried so hard not to punch the table at the thought of them.

 

"I take it back. You don't have to tell me if you don't want too."

 

"I want too," I answered almost instantly because I did. I can't keep this a secret. I saw his Adam’s apple bob before he nodded 

 

"My parents, you know how their alcoholics, and so they showed up at the hospital. My dad was clearly drunk but no one gave a damn. He-he went into my sister’s room and-and he just punched her telling her to wake up and to stop ignoring him. He-he kept at it f-for 10 minutes just - just l beating her up, Tora. She was unconscious goddamnit, after the nurses came they found out that she now had lower chances of waking up and-and-and I know it's not much or an excu--" 

 

Before I could tell what was happening lips crashed into mine. Tora was kissing me, and gosh I fucking needed this.

 

I put my hands on his waist and pulled him closer, his torso flush against my own. I kept kissing him it was passionate and strong. I could feel every emotion pouring into the kiss. We made no intention of taking it further.

 

We both pulled away and I started to feel dizzy, I rested my head on his shoulder and started to steady my breathing. I could feel a slender hand going up and down my back, I sighed at the contact and leaned in closer.

 

"Ryuu. That's not an excuse, you had your problems and I should have been aware of em'. I knew you weren't in a good mood and I disrupted you. So don't blame yourself."

 

"Don't blame myself? What are you talking about, Tora? I called you a bastard an annoying piece of trash. How much of a horrible boyfriend can I be? I don't deserve you, Tora."

 

"You’re not a horrible boyfriend, if anything you’re amazing. Don't say you don't deserve me, you were just having a really bad day, and that can be explained, everyone has their reasons."

 

"I'm so sorry, Tora."

 

"I know."

 

We stayed there just enjoying each other's company, just the feeling of touch that came between us. I missed this, more than anything, more than the world.

 

"You know, I love you Ryuu."

 

I gulped and let my eyes close, "Yeah. I know."

 

I smiled to myself, I almost forgot how good it felt to be in the arms of a person I love. Of the person I want to spend the rest of my time with.

 

One day Ryuu, one day… That was my last thought before I fell into a deep slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 4 GUYS FINALLY
> 
> I would like to thank @letkeithsayfuck for helping me edit this
> 
> \- Their tumblr : http://letkeithsayfuck.tumblr.com
> 
> I few of you have been waiting for this, so here you go!!!
> 
> feel free to drop comments and ask me anything on tumblr 
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> me: http://thosedarkuntoldstories.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> guys make sure to leave your kudos if you want me to finish it up  
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